Friends & Fiction
Friends & Fiction

Episode · 1 month ago

Friends & Fiction with Zibby Owens2

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

F&F welcomes Zibby Owens, host of the award-winning podcast Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books and the author/editor of the anthology Moms Don't Have Time To: A Quarantine Anthology. Named "NYC's Top Book-fluencer" by Vulture and on Oprah's list of top literary podcasts two years in a row, Zibby is a frequent contributor to such media outlets as Good Morning America and The Washington Post and just launched her own publishing house, Zibby Books. She joins us to talk about her new book Moms Don't Have Time to Have Kids, released November 2, 2021 from Skyhorse.

Welcome to Friends and fiction for newyork times, bestselling authors, endless stories, novelists, mary Kayandrews, Kristin Harmel, Kristy Woodson harvey and Patti Callahan Henry R fourlong time friends with more than 70 published books between them together.They host friends and fiction with author interviews and fascinatinginsider, talk about publishing and writing to highlight and supportindependent bookstores. They discussed the books, they've written the booksthey're reading now and the art of storytelling. If you love books andyou're curious about the writing world, you're in the right place. Helloeveryone, it's tight and that means it's time for the happiest hour on theinternet. Friends and fiction. Welcome to our show as we meet Zb Owens um andwe have a very special surprise guest that's gonna be popping in first thatwe can't wait to introduce you to. We have so much to import to tonight. I'mKristy Woodson Harvey, I'm Patti Callahan, Henry, I'm mary Kay Andrews,I'm Kristin Harmel and this is Friends and fiction for new york times,bestselling authors, endless stories to support independent bookstores. So asyou know, we continue to encourage you to support indie booksellers when andwhere you can and one way we do that is to visit our own friends and fictionbookshop dot org page book shop dot org. You can slow it down where you can findzombies. Book and our books and all of our past guest books we have a wholeour own little virtual bookshop there at a discount of course a portion ofeach sale through the Friends and fiction shop goes to support indiebookstores and it also helps the show. So if you enjoy watching this is areally great way to support our guests, independent bookstores and the Friendsand fiction group itself all in one fell swoop. So we have some reallyexciting things tonight. But before we dive into our night we need tocelebrate with all of you because Christy's christmas in Peachtree Bluffhas hit the new york times list and we are so excited, we are so proud and weall love this book so much. And we watched her not only the day shedecided to write it, but we watched her put her whole heart and her whole soulinto it because Christy doesn't do anything just a little bit cheersChristy. You're so proud. Thank you. Well thank you so much to the three ofyou first of all for all that you did to help this book and support it. Andyou put so much energy and love into it. And I'm so grateful to all of ourfriends and fiction viewers out there who bought this book and recommended itto Friends And um y'all are amazing and we love you, we love seeing so many ofyou, we were all on the road together. It was so great. You're just sosupportive and you made this happen. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thankyou. Don't forget by her book. Damn it. You know what? I'm just, I'm so proudof all three of you. You, you know, I slacked off but you all wrote you allwrote winter books. I mean, definitely slacker, definitely. You know what?It's really impressive. You've been touring them tirelessly. Um you know,you found it within yourselves in a really busy time to write these books,I'm so proud of you Christy and I'm proud of all three of you. That'samazing. You're very happy for you. All right. Speaking of things, I am happyabout that. We are all happy about before we introduce our guest. We wantto take a moment to tell you about a fabulous new product we're launching inpartnership with our friends at Oxford Exchange. So this branded friends andfiction reading journal, which is brand new, How beautiful is that? Can you seethat? It's even prettier than the pictures I'm telling you. We were atOxford exchange last week, we got to hold them in our hands. Oh, it'samazing. It has a amazing cover and pages to review all your books. Thereare even spaces in there to keep up with your DNS and TB are piles andthere are quotes from the friends and fiction authors interspersed throughout.So it's a great holiday gift. It's a great gift for yourself if you, ifyou're a big reader and you know, shout out to Christy for being the one whokind of put all that together and helped design it and you shout outOxford exchange because definitely we all kind of drink this up and they madeit come to life. It's so beautiful. You can't see it really so much on screen,but has this beautiful linen cover and...

...this is a really nice notebook. Likeit's something that I think we're all going to be really excited to get touse ourselves. So it's so great. You know, you can find more informationabout how to buy the journal on our friends and fiction website or you cango to Oxford exchange and I am so excited about using this. I have neverbeen able to keep track of my books except by putting them in piles aroundthe house. So now I'm at least going to be able to try. I've opened it todayand the book I'm reading right now, I'm just gonna write in there. You can evenadd a journal onto your season's greetings holiday box from Oxfordexchange which includes once upon a wardrobe, the santa suit Kristy'schristmas and Peachtree Bluff and the option to add Kristen's the Forest ofVanishing Stars if you haven't ready at which I cannot imagine. I'm sorry. I'm,I'm like tickled every year because I'm at my parents house and all of a suddenthe printer just started going and it's like printing all this stuff I wastrying desperately to print last night and of course it was and I'm so sorrythat's why I was laughing. But yes, we're so excited about the journal,it's going to be amazing and it's a great holiday gift I think for anyoneon your, she loves to read. Um but yeah, it's definitely a big night ofcelebration around here because we have another thing to celebrate, we'reannouncing our partnership with one of our favorite companies, one that noneof our holidays can happen without butter ball, but we're excited, so weare so excited to introduce carol from butter balls, famous turkey talk lineand we're gonna be taking one of your turkey questions live in just a minute,so any questions about thanksgiving or holidays or prep or turkey drop them infor carol now because we'll be taking one in just a second um and sean let'sbring carol on. Hi Carol Carol, Hi Carol, thank you somuch for being with us. So that butterball Turkey talk line iscelebrating 40 years this year right now, it's amazing! Oh my gosh, that'sabsolutely incredible. What a milestone. How long have you been part of this?And mhm You know the top line started in 1981 and I started in 1984 in thebeginning. Um Barbell needed a new way to help their their their customers andtoll free numbers were just coming on and they thought well let's give it atry. So they had seven people in the test kitchens with little papers andpencils and some basic information and they just didn't know if anyone wouldcall. Well, hello, that's 40 years later, they've been calling, um, we hadpeople dancing in their kitchens because they had someone to call. Itdidn't cost money. They didn't have to check in with grandma or mother in lawor anything to give them advice. They had Turkey experts, uh, to, to helpthem. So they were dancing. Now, 40 years later, people are still dancingto the information. We've gone from talking toll free one on one. We'vegone all the way through websites, email social media. Everyone you couldthink of were actually on Tiktok this year. Dance, you know, take a tic tac.Turkey. Tiktok wrap it up. We need to step it up. Okay, carol. You've been a major partof the Turkey talk line and promoting it from everywhere from major tv showsto radio and beyond. I'm supposed to ask you one question, but the first oneI really want to ask is how do you get on the Turkey talk line? How did youend up with the Turkey? Yeah. You know, we're all food professionals. There's50 of them were no longer seven. Where's 50 of us? We're all foodprofessionals. We have educators that have taught foods in, you know, juniorhigh to culinary schools. We have chefs, we have dietitians, we have foodscientists. Um, just everyone that is a professional and foods, but they don'tget away with just that. They have to go to butter ball university every yearwhere they come into our test kitchens and they each are assigned a particularmethod to cook their turkey. So we go through, you know the butter ballmethod cooking like your grandmother did in the, in the big oven or the pan.We do it in the microwave, we do it in a confection of and we just go on andon and then they can see all the turkeys laid out and compare them. Youknow, who looks the best, who, how much...

...juice is in each pan. So that when youcall, they've got the facts they got, if they've seen it. So, um, everyfreshman junior or sophomore and junior, the first three years they go twobutter ball you. Um, this year we've, we've taken our test kitchens and we'veturned them into the butter ball, talking that tricky dog line, um, tastekitchen and so back to the internet and to social media. Um, we found that 83%of people are going online to get recipes. I don't know my new ladies,but people are, and you know what, they might not all be good. So turkeyexperts have gone into the kitchen and we've been paying attention to thetrends, what's going on and we've done a taste testing and we're going to putour stamp of approval are the ones that we recommend that people use for theirthanksgiving meal. I saw some, we did the wrong thing we need to be in thatbutterball turkey test kitchen, I wonder how we get in there. Okay. Ifeel like I'm talking to a celebrity because turkey talk line, I mean you'vebeen even been on the Stephen Colbert show, so what is the craziest questionyou've ever gotten on the turkey talk line? You know, um one story that Itell all the time and it's crazy, But it's also so sweet and I can't, youknow, this is my 37th year, so one of my very first years I had a young manwho was going to propose and he wanted to do it at the thanksgiving, meal hesaid, could I put the ring in the stuffing in the turkey and then whenpeople, someone's going to find it and then I'll propose, I think you all knowthat wasn't a good idea. So we brainstormed and we decided that takingthe ring tie in on a drumstick. Really platter in with the turkey. What thesweet thing is, is if she said yes, after these 30 years, I mean they couldhave kids, they could have grandkids and you know, thanksgiving is all aboutfamily and friends, so that just warms my heart though it was you do not putan engagement ring in a turkey. No, yeah, we'll try that. That's so sweetnow carol. I love story that that's like something that one of us shouldwrite. I love that. You can use it. You can use it. Thank you. So there are, wedefinitely have some questions coming in from our audience. Great, Great. Andum, I was going to ask you some forensic coroner. She's one of our bookclub hosts. We love her and she wants to know why is planning ahead importantfor thanksgiving hosts. Well, you don't want to be standing in your kitchen onthanksgiving morning with the tricky. That is not thought you don't have apan. My God, that turkey will fit into. You need to meet the mom Attar. Soreally, you know, if you're going to buy a frozen turkey, think about it.It's so easy, you know, thought easy right in the refrigerator so that youdon't have any problems on thanksgiving morning one day for every £4 of turkeyAnd then you're, you're ready to go. It actually holds a little bit longer.You've got an extra 3-4 days once it's thought out. So it's uh, it's not anemergency that you have to cook right away. Really see, I didn't know thatI'm learning. This is great. Okay. It's awesome. Yeah, well carol, thank youfor being here with us tonight. We are so excited to celebrate 40 years of theturkey talk line with you and you cannot wait to be working with butterball these next couple months and we will definitely all have a butterballTurkey at our thanksgiving table so uh I cannot tell a lie. I think I've readall of your books. I think this is so exciting for me to thank you, thank youfor reading carol's but on Stephen Colbert so she can still get excitedfor us. That's amazing thanksgiving. Yeah it's happy. Thank you for joiningus. That's awesome. Thanks so we good night. So now we have anotherincredible guest who is waiting in the wings backstage for us. Um Z. B. Owenswho is an author now brand new publisher, the creator and host of theaward winning podcast. Moms don't have time to read books as the Ceo and founder of Moms don'thave time to. ZB has formed a media company that includes multiple podcastsand publications like Moms don't have to write, have time to write. She'salso the Ceo co founder and reader in...

...chief of zombie books which is a brandnew publishing home for fiction and memoir named N. Y. C. S most powerfulbook fluent sir by new york magazine's vulture. ZB is a regular contributor toGood morning America online and she also writes for the Washington postparents slate and medium. She also regularly recommends books on tv andhas been featured on CBS this morning and Good Morning America as if that isnot enough. She is also the editor of the award winning anthology. Moms don'thave time to a quarantine anthology the upcoming anthology. Moms don't havetime to have kids and the upcoming Children's book. And I love this title,Princess charming and also an upcoming memoir which I cannot wait to read. Shecurrently lives in new york with her husband and four Children. All rightsean, let's welcome Debbie. Hi. Hi ladies, so much for having me to yoursorry little like type of their moms don't have time to have kids is out now.I came out yesterday. It did, it did um so exciting that it's so beautifulright here. I'm so honored that I got to have an essay in it. And so it'sjust been a really fun celebration and so exciting. So thanks for being here.Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. We're super excited tohave you. Okay, so we know there's a new book out and we're gonna be gettingto that, but we have to know very first thing about your new publishing housewhich is also huge news. We want all the details. I mean seriously momsdon't have time to but you had time to launch a publishing house. That'samazing. It's incredible. And as a mom of a five year old who doesn't evenhave time to brush my teeth some days I feel like I stand in awe. So that isincredible. And I'm wondering how you got the idea how long this has been inthe works and how is it going to be different from the traditionalpublishing model? Um as a tired mom, I might not evenremember all those questions. zero. let's see, it's been in the baby books,has been in the works for a little while. I almost started it a year agoum but I just wasn't quite ready and now I have even more experience withthe three different publishers who are publishing my books and have learnedsome of the things that I thought worked really well, what could beimproved. I've talked to 900 plus authors and my podcast months don'thave time to read books and a lot of feedback from the authors was fairlyconsistent. Um there were some areas that are too difficult I think for abig established company to pivot and address and I wanted to just start itover like what would it look like if I could do it my way. Um and I admit itis somewhat delusional that I think I can pull this off, but you know what, Iam going to try and I am partnering with lee Newman who is amazing. She hasum started, she started black balloon which became Catapult, she was theOprah Book Club Online editor for many years. And so she really knows thepublishing industry and Machete is our publisher, she has been in thepublishing industry for 25 30 years. So I do have people behind me or standingnext to me rather, you know, on the team who uh no the business, but Ithink it's also really valuable that I'm just coming in and being like, wellwhy not? I don't want to do that, I want to do it that way. So yeah, Ican't do everything I want to do. Um they do read me in from time to time,uh oh we've already inquired nine books and um it's just really exciting. Umthe best part for me is being able to be like, you should write a book, whichI said 8000 times, I I should have called my podcast, you should write abook. But anyway, I mean, well no, because those people have, I shouldlike have a side hustlers anyway, I say that to everybody, not everybody, butthere's so many great stories out there and some people I've sort of beenfollowing for years, like what's up, what's with your writing, blah, blah,blah, And I was like, well can I do this? Like what if what if I tried this?Um so it was kind of a pipe dream and then I don't know, I just I was justlike, I have to do this, and I'm just going to try it, so I'm trying it andum I have so many ideas and we are basically systematically going througheach area of publishing and finding a way to spin it so that it creates asense of community, it empowers authors,...

It puts them at the center ofeverything um inspires readers, connects moms and everybody. So, um Ifeel very mission driven about the whole enterprise and so everybody inthe company, which I can't even really call a company. I mean there are 15 ofus, but you know, we're on like zoom everywhere. Like could someone justcome to, I have to pretend it's an office please, But we're all like superexcited because what we're doing is important and I feel like it's going tomake changes and I'm hoping that sometimes even the littlest things thatwe do can get adopted by other people. I don't know. So it's just like aculture shift and um I'm really fired up about it. So do I have time? Idefinitely do not have time for this. Um there have been a lot of tears. Ihave had some regrets, but but I'm pushing through and I'm like, wow,that's a lot more time to be honest. It's the management of the other peoplethat takes the most time and like figuring out the structure of running awhole business. So, but you know, I missed a parent teacher conference theother day. I'm just not doing it all perfectly. But no, but it's where yousay that in a way though, because I feel like that kind of gets to theheart of, you know what you're, what you're often talking about is that it'sdifficult. You know, we can't do it all, we don't have time for everything, soum and all we can do is our best, so this is all very exciting, I'm soexcited to see how it will change the publishing world. Can you give us anyinside scoop on some of the first books you have coming up? Sure, yes, um let'ssee, we have um we have a memoir by a woman named Maria Dangelo who is anafro Cuban woman who immigrated to United States as a child and by the waybecame my sole cycle instructor, but that's not her whole story, her most ofher story was that she went to Juilliard, she's an amazing musician,she works at Jpmorgan, she was a lawyer, she was just whole thing was like herlittle um you know side business where I got to know her, but she has the mostamazing story ever and is so soulful and just, oh my gosh, people just like,hang on her every word, so I was like, you should write a book, she's writinga book, another woman writing a book is Shoshanna Lonstein Bruce who foundedShoshana the clothing line, which I love because it is so flattering foreven this old nun working out, you know, knowledge body over here, so anyway, Ilove her for that, um but her story, in addition to just being this sort ofbadass entrepreneur mom herself is that her family has the most amazingholocaust survival story, It is against all odds that she even exists. Um And Iwas like we have to, you have to tell that story, so that's another one. UmLet's see, we have a novel that takes place in the male dominated wineindustry about two best friends who start their own wine business. Um Onecentered on gardens like the gardens and gardening tour. Um One is apsychological look into a psychologist life and his long term marriage whensuddenly a new patient comes in and throws everything into question. Um ILove that one, can't really good. Um What else? A mother daughter storyabout a uh the daughter is an aspiring dancer and the mother is an alcoholicand it's about how the two of them sort of sort through their issues and loveand you know find a path forward. Oh there's a great one called the 40 yearold intern about a 38 year old mom of twins and ceo running this consultingcompany who just like wasn't super satisfied with her life. It's hilarious,she gets a series of internships um throughout the year, it was supposed tobe this perfect year 2020 so she got in a few and then of course had to pivotto online internships and next thing you know she's like quarantining inScotland interning for this like eighties aerobics company, I mean it isso yeah, so that's great um and then they sound so good. So good. Yeah. Yeah.There's just there's just one where I wanted to plug before I forgot it. UmThere's one by a trauma therapist who was traumatized herself and her motherdied suddenly on vacation and so she ended up going to the hospital whereshe used to refer all her patients. Um So that's another really good. I don'tknow. You all look so good. Yeah, I forgot one or two. But anyway, thoseare some of the books how I mean that was really you're really diving in. Ohthere's another one, sorry, there's another one librarian um called theanxiety library and it's going to be a dizzy all the each chapter will be acheesy like anxiety for anxiety. Easy for Zoloft and it's about her storywith anxiety. Um As a librarian, I...

...think everybody but such clever books.I can't wait to read all of them. Yeah. Ok. City. Now you have to tell us aboutthe new book yours out your book. Moms don't have time to have kids. That is ahilarious, amazing title by the way. Thank you. Tell us a little bit aboutthe book. And then can you tell us, how did you go about choosing the authorsto write for this one for instance are I don't know, Kristy Woodson harvey. Itwas a mishmash of reasons why we picked these authors. Some had to do with thetitles so okay let me back up. There are five sections of the book based onthings Moms don't have time to do. I could have done like I can do 1000anthologies based on the things Mom sometimes I'm trying to ratchet it backjust a couple of the most relevant topics. So this one is my moms don'thave time to sleep, see friends get sick, lose weight and right. Um, sothere were authors I had in mind for each of the sections, given the stories,I already knew about them, all of them had already been on my podcast. Ialready had some sort of connection or do something about them or wanted tohear more. So that's how I started. I started going through that I worked onthis book with Caroline Murdoch who edited all the essays. She had someideas too about her to reach out to. And then it was also people who Ihappened to be interviewing that week. Like, I don't know. So it was, it was amix of all different reasons. But the guiding part was just people I wasreally excited to hear more from because this personal essay format ismy favorite read and short enough that you can read one before bed and notfall asleep. You can feel like you've accomplished something by reading one.And I knew that these authors um could pull that off successfully. Yeah,Christie probably wrote hers on her peloton. Yeah, that is actually nottrue, but thanks, thanks. There actually is an essay in here by a mannamed richie Jackson called Peloton. And on and on about his experience withhis bike. Oh my gosh, I love to play on pellet on there and on and on over.That's fantastic. Great love affair. I love Christie's essay though.Christie's was one of my favorites. You know, I was like crying when I read itabout her grandfather. And it's funny because I don't even know if you knowthis city, because when I talked to Caroline and I pitched her somethingcompletely different and she was like, I don't, I was gonna say you probablydon't even know this. I probably like, ruins the whole book. And like everyonehad to shift around, but I just I had this writing up an essay and I sat downand start writing. And for some reason, like this story is what came out and itwas the story about, you know, my grandfather and um this sort of tokenthat he used to sort of give out. And anyway, it's just, you'll have to readit. But it's one of my favorite essays I've ever written when I sat down towrite it, it's just what came out and I called Caroline and I was like, um Iwrote something completely entirely different than what I was going towrite. It's not even the same section of the book, and she was like, wellsend it to me and let me see. And so I sent it to her and she was like, yes,great, that's it. So, um yeah, so you just, you know, you never know what'sgonna come out. And I think especially when we're telling like really personalstories about our lives, you know, you just sometimes something I'll just hityou in a different way and um but I loved being a part of it, I'm soexcited about it. And my grandmother, my grandfather passed away um Just alittle over two years ago. And so that was, you know, definitely a part of thestory is the first holiday season without him. And um sort of this signthat I felt like he left for me. Um but it was my grandmother, I saw her todayand she's 95 and you know, to get to tell her that, you know, this essayabout him that come out in this book today. And um she was so excited and toget to read a Terror really great. So I have to tell you, and this is relatedto your sign. I've since uh since you've written this essay, Iinterviewed a woman named Laura Lynn Jackson, who's like a famous medium whowrote a book called Science, I don't know if you know of her work oranything. Anyway, she came on my podcast, I was telling her aboutdifferent signs and we were talking about, you know, examples of thingslike yours and, and in, in my talk with her, she's like, I can, you know, I canchannel people whenever. And she's like, well, actually, you know, yourgrandmother just came in. I was super close to my grandmother got g I thinkthat's why related. That's my mom got Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Anyway, umanyway, she said, well, she's being a little pushy about it, but she's hereand she's taking a lot of credit for your writing. And you know, she shewanted you to know you shouldn't feel bad that you didn't get to say goodbyebecause it was during Covid and I couldn't, she said she's here todaybecause it's a special anniversary. I was like, no, it's really not. She'slike, well, she's saying it is. And I was like, no. So anyway, we get off thething and I go downstairs and there's a...

...package waiting for me and my motherhad dropped off my grandmother's ashes. I oh my God. Crazy. Right. I don't evenknow why I'm telling you this story right now. That was not my intention.But anyway, I mean, crazy. Right? I mean, you just never know. I meansomething sort of similar habitat was on an airplane one time and sat besidethis woman who said she was a psychic medium and she like, had all thesepeople for me. And it was super bizarre. But yeah, you just never know. I mean,I don't know, I think I'm being converted. I can clean Your essayChristie. I know, I'm just like 100% yes No, I mean I yeah, I I really thinkit was real. So you'll have to go get the book and read the essay so you canfind out what happened. I think to when we sit down sometimes to write an essayand we have in our mind what we want to write about and then because it'spersonal, it shifts so dramatically all of us with these parade essays, we'vesat down said we were going to write about one thing and dove into somethingelse altogether. So I want to read every essay in that book city, so weare all jugglers, not that kind of life jugglers on this screen trying tobalance podcasts and web shows and writing and families and kids andgrandkids and side gigs and God forbid we have a social life and God help usif we get one and I have been balanced and I've also fallen off the tightropeand I've always thought that once my kids were grown and out of the house, Iwould have it together and it would get easier, but it isn't and it never is.And here on friends and fiction, they see all of us put together and also sofrazzled that we didn't brush our hair, but use it be have been just astransparent on social media about how it isn't always easy and you are reallywonderful at letting us into the back story of your tough days, which is veryinspiring. But you keep going and we want to know what inspires you and howdo you keep going when it seems like that tightrope were falling off on oneside or the other or the world is spinning and we can't get our centerwhat inspires you and keeps you in the middle ground. That's a great question.And by the way, I think you should write a book or an essay calledgrandkids and side gigs. Like that's such a great title. I can do that forsure write it for moms and have time to write it. I got it. I'm on it. Okay. Um,what inspires me to not fall off the wagon? I mean, um, look, I, I don'thave, I don't really have a choice. I have four kids and I am, you know, Ihave a podcast that I'm really passionate about. I have to show up forpeople every day emotionally and be prepared and I don't have a choice.It's on my calendar. I wake up every day. I'm like, what do I have to dotoday. What I have to do? You know? Like what am I gonna do? How am I goingto do it? And I mean that every day I have to handle it differently and Idon't get everything done every day and you know, some days I'm dealing withthe podcast, some days I'm dealing with heavy books or a little of everythingand you know that I'm doing like a high school interview for one of my kids andparent teacher conference and therapy. I don't know, I'm all, it's like allover the place. Um, and I also think that underneath it all is that I'mreally, I know my brand is a lot about your mom's not having time and and youknow, a mother's right to sanity, which is sort of how I started this wholething off, but it's also about the race to make the time that we do have workwhile um, it has like a lot of loss in my life from an early age and I am I, Isort of keep that ticking clock very close to my everyday life. So I feel asthough I'm always racing against time to get everything done all the time andI have to fit it all in because at any moment that's it. So that's sort of howI am propelled by this like motor that doesn't let me slow down. Is theresomeone or something or something you return to again and again that inspiresyou that keeps you going. I don't know whether it's a book or a person or atheory or a, I don't know, is there something that's kind of a touch pointthat inspires you that when you're in the middle of the chaos you say this? Um I usually my sort of mantra if you will,is there is that don't miss the plot. Oh, so that's what I try to remindmyself when I get totally caught up in...

...the stress of little things or I'mpanicked about this, that or the other my kids or I can't get them to sleep oryou know, it's just one of the many, many things um I'm like, you know what,I'm going to like leave this zoom on, go downstairs and have like a fiveminute dance party with my kids because that's what it's all about and that'smy time and that's what I have to do. So I don't know, I don't do itparticularly well, but I, every day I just try to do it better and um be moreefficient. I'm super focused and being efficient with my time and not wastingtime on things. Um so you know, I basically prioritized my kids and myhusband, although he's been filming a movie since early september, so I guessI have a lot more time right now, you're not here, but I prioritize mykids and all my work stuff and because my work stuff is so emotionallyfulfilling. Um I don't, I, you know, I just haven't been doing other thingslike seeing friends or you know, going out to dinner or like I'm just not, I'mgoing to parties. I'm almost never doing any of that stuff anymore. I'mjust like hyper focused right now and I, I don't know, maybe, you know, every sooften I burned out a little bit and then I crash and I sleep for like 12hours and then I'm good. I don't need that much. I don't know. That's that'sI don't know, well that I love the returning to the mantra. That's great.There's like, I love that one still spot in a turning world that you can, Ilove that. Thanks to me, that was perfect. Love that. And I want toremind everybody out there and we're going to take live questions for cityin just a minute and I already see a bunch coming in, but if you have a livequestion for her filthy, feel free to drop it in the comments and we willhopefully get to a lot of them for her. Um, but to be there are so many thingsthat you just said that I want to comment on that are all like swirlingaround in my head. Um, but I do think and we've said this a lot about friendsin fiction and about our lives that, you know, you sort of hit on this abouthow we created a new life during Covid and then the world is opening back upagain and it's like how do you juggle, you know, the new life that you createdfor yourself with the old life that you're now going back to? And so thatreally resonated. I think probably with all of us because um you know, that issomething that happens, like we were used to being at home all the time andthen social events are starting again and we're back on tour and, you know,all these things. So it's um it's very different, but it reminded me I got tomeet you in 2019 at um the East Hampton Authors night, which was so fun and Imean, I of course knew who you were and I knew your podcast. I was so excitedwhen I saw you and you had your ipad and your mic and you're walking aroundand it's like, oh my gosh, I feel like I sort of like stalked you and probablylike twisted your arm until, like, talking to me. I mean, it was reallygreat. Um and so I was so glad to meet you, but I feel like the last two yearsfor you and maybe, and you can correct me if I'm wrong because I'm an outsider,you know, looking in, but I feel like everything has just exploded for you,and sometimes I think when that happens and all of a sudden, all theseincredible things are happening, um it feels like it all just happened, youknow, and there was no to the out to outsiders looking in, but I feel likethis is something that you've worked on so long and so hard and so how did thisidea begin? And then, you know, how can you tell us a little bit about thetransition of, you know, moms don't have time to read books and where thisidea came from and how you got to where you are today. Sure. Um yeah, it still has been all ina very tight timeline. I started the podcast in March of 2018 and yes, thelast two years, this has been such a wild ride and was never my like thiswasn't my plan. Um it started, I have been, I love to write. So I started myfirst article I wrote when I was 14 and 17 magazine. I've been freelancing eversince. Um I started writing a lot more after I got divorced about 67 years ago,something like that. Um and I had all this time when I didn't have my kidsand I started reading a lot more and writing a lot more and I fell in lovewith someone, I got so inspired, blah blah blah. Um and I had all theseessays and my the man who's now my husband Kyle and said, you know, youshould take all these essays and put them into a book and I said Mom saidattempt to read books and I was like, oh, that's so funny, I'm going to callthat the name, That's cool. That would be the name of my book and meanwhile Iwas writing these essays like sitting right here at this desk and like Iwould post them on medium and I would get like, I don't know like 83 peoplereading them. And I'd be like, I know this essay could help more people, butI don't know how to find the people. And I was so frustrated. Not that likeI wasn't getting a claim for the essay, but just like I had this one essay Iwrote for like years, four years ago...

...maybe and it was God, like two lucky tocry on easter because I was literally like sitting in the bathroom sobbingand here I am in this like beautiful apartment with like my beautiful kidsand like, you know what's wrong with me that like I am so lucky, I'm so blessedin so many ways and yet I can still be like so debilitating really upset andlike having such a hard time and you know, dropping them at my mom'sliterally like wearing my bathroom and it was not a good day. Anyway, I'll tosay, um I just had a feeling that there were other people who were crying onthe bathroom floor that day and I wanted to tell them that like it wasokay and like I get it and I've been there and you've been there too anyway,like no one read it and it was just like, I just kept being so frustrated.So um anyway, I met with a few agents and they didn't think that would be afunny book at all to publishers. So uh this one agent said, you know, youdon't really have a platform and what other books do you have in you, blahblah blah. And then a friend suggested that I start a podcast and I was like,well what's a podcast? Why would I do that? Like, I like to write, I don'twhat, you know, I've never aspired to having any sort of like public facinganything like anyway, um I just really wanted to write and I wanted to write amemoir. I've been writing and re writing this memoir since I wasgraduated from business school, during which time my best friend died on 9 11and was super traumatic shape and my roommate all through college and aftercollege until I went to school. And um I had another series of losses all ofthat year and I just like, had a story I really needed to tell and I just,that's really my motivation anyway, so then I just decided to try it. I waslike, I'll just try, I don't know, I'll just try interviewing other authors. UmI'll see how it works and I did it. I didn't announce it. I wasn't on socialmedia, I just was like, let me see how it goes and I sat here with my friendfrom business school? Lead Carpenter who's also, who is also a novelist? Andliterally I turned on the mic and we had this talk and I was like, this isit, this is what I wanna do. I loved it. I got to know more things about leethan I'd ever. You guys must find this all the time. You're interviewing allthe time, like, and I'm like, this is my friend, right? Imagine I shouldprobably do this with my husband and see what happens, you know,interviewing interviewing like people I know better. But um anyway, I justrealized I loved it more than anything. And um, yeah, I got, I don't know, it'sjust like taking off from there and all these different ways and um, I trythings not everything works. I keep sensing all the opportunities of what'snext. Like I can kind of always feel like, okay, I'm building towards thisor this is the next idea and I wonder how and when I get there, but I knowI'm gonna get there somehow and um, what, what else can I do? And I justkeep testing and pivoting and um, you know, not being afraid and like why not?I don't know, it's, I don't know. That's awesome. That's awesome. That'sincredible. That's a really, really great answer. Okay, this one is superquick. But um, where do you see yourself in 10 years like, what's nextfor you? What do you want to do? 10 years? I'm going to be so tired. Yesyou are. My God I think this space For 10 years. Um Oh my God we're here totell you. That's true. Yeah. Oh my gosh we are your future. Yeah we said we'dnever get easier. I was like really great. That's really uh thank youyou're welcome. I'm here for you, I'm here for you. I'm here with the bulletsof truth. Just take them. Um in 10 years. Um Well I would like I guess tohave really made a difference in a lot of people's lives. I'd like to havediscovered a lot of new talent and published some amazing books and havepeople who are like wow if that hadn't happened like my life would be sodifferent. Like I'm excited for more of those stories or just help me in thisway. So I'm hoping for more opportunities like that. Um My ownmemoirs coming out this summer which I'm really excited about is called bookthe memoir. Um And I'm excited to have that out and about and see what that'slike. Um maybe write more books myself. Um And I'm you know maybe somethingwith T. V. I don't know maybe there's some show or something. Um I don't knowI'm just going to like I don't know every day I have these ideas. I knowtoday I was like I want to start like a big tv guide type website. You know,like the thing on the tv for all the shows, All the author events everywherein the world. So they love right, millions. Yeah. Yeah. If you get harderand do it together or something. I was...

...gonna say, I want to be able to go to L.A. For the weekend and be like, oh here I am in L. A. Like what book events aregoing on to do or say like, you know, I love um you know, I love Patti, I wantto see wherever she is. She going to be, What's her, what's her every move orlike me to hear Dani Shapiro this weekend. Where is she? What's she up to?So gosh, I loved me. Oh my God. And like what if you haven't linked? Solike if you like patty, you can find people who are like who are similar topatty. I find that I took a day off. I owe people who were patty adjacent.Yeah, but you like your story forever. You can have it stored there too. Like,you could have like the on demand section, like of the past events. Yeah.And then you could have the upcoming events and like the live events rightnow. Um like why don't we have that? Why don't we have a Yeah, let's do it.I love it. I love it. I love that. Yeah, I'm really needed. It's needed. I alsowant to start like something called like slush pile dot com or somethingbecause there are so many manuscripts were getting pitched that are great,but they're not like what we want to do. So instead of people having to trottheir manuscripts to all the different publishers and get rejected and waitand wait and wait. Like what if there was a site where you could haveeverybody's pitch and comments and you know, like this little spreadsheet thatwe have for our submissions, like why can't that be a public thing? Sopublishers can come to that. I love it. Smart Vyron. I mean, I probably won't,I don't know if I'll do these are just like little things like, you know,they're not even on, you know? And then, because like, I wanted to start sometime to travel, like I have a whole travel partnership line thing that Iwould like to do, but I don't have the bandwidth to do now. And I just havelike, all these different shopping. I don't know, there's just so many. So Ihave to, my challenge is staying focused enough on what I'm doing rightnow and making sure I'm doing a good enough job on that and not likestarting to do a million other things. That's that's my challenge. Well, whenwe all get together, we do the same thing, let's do this huge project.Let's do this huge project, let's do this anthology and then we have to saywe have a book. Do you know where we have like you got to bring it back inbut there and once the ideas start they just like it's like wave on wave. Theygive birth to more ideas and you just get so excited. But you can't do it all.Moms can't do it all. I think this is really simple and someone could do thisin like 10 minutes. That's smarter than I am. But I think you need an app wherewe can sign people's e books. You know how many people say like, well I gotthat on e book but I really wish it was signed. Like we need to Yeah. So couldyou put that on your list? Place another thing I'd like to invent that Ihaven't figured out the solution to it has nothing to do with what we'retalking about is. And I was talking to girlfriends last night at my book party.But like how do you remember if you've taken your pill in the morning or not?I don't want to take to know what? I don't want to take it twice, but youdon't want to take zero. But I don't want to like done How do how do youknow where is like what? You know? But now I say to myself like it's like I'mgoing to brush my teeth and take my pill every day. I'm gonna do the same.So sometimes and I'm like, I don't even know if I brush my teeth so that I haveto feel my slippery Yeah, that's my life. That's my life. I hold up mydeodorant and say did I use this? Right? So I just do it again. I just saved youwhen I washed my hair. When was I was, I was like so proud that we were so ontrack and we had so many live questions. Okay mary kate just asked us like onequestion. I mean yeah, Alison remember wants to know how many books you readin a year's IBI or in a month? Uh Allison Allison. Well I tend to cover about eight booksa week so I don't read them. I'll start to finish but I do read big chunks ofevery book. Um so start to finish. How many do I read in a month? I don't know,probably like 6-8. Good Lord finished, but I probably don't finish the rest.Yeah, yeah, Yeah, that's a lot of books. It's a lot of books that makes thebooks right patty. You want to do a Super one. Okay, let me see here you'rewriting maybe now let's go straight to over tip. So ZB if you end up havingtime to get it. Okay we have so many great questions for you. So maybe ifyou get a second or two stop by the facebook page because people havequestions but we would love a writing tip from you because you are runningall these businesses but you're still writing. So what is a writing tip youwould give to someone out there who's...

...trying to write an essay or startsomething new? What would you say? Um what would I say? Um oh my gosh, I have so many differentpieces of advice and I don't um I don't know, I would say you know, writingdoesn't have to be this elaborate affair where you like go to a coffeeshop with the perfect music and you have hours free and whatever. You know,writing can look and feel like a lot of different things and I consider myinstagram posts writing that's writing to me. Yeah, I try to do it every dayand it's a habit and it makes me a better writer in the end and it's nottoo formal, but whatever, it's how I can fit it in right now in my life. Sojust fit it in, fit in, Just fit it in. I love that and I'm going to cheatbecause Laura Rossi has a question. She said will hi Laura, will there be athird anthology? I don't know, I don't have plans yet but who knows, I'm notruling it out. Okay great. She wants, she'll be working on another end. Wesee Laura, we're all like Laura. No, no we don't do it saved me to be. Wealways love to hear what our guests are reading too and especially you. It justsounds like you really have your finger on the pulse of of what's going on inthe book world right now. Is there something that's out soon or has comeout recently that you would recommend? Um There is a book I just went to myfriend's foot party tonight. It's called The Last Season and it's ahistorical fiction romance. Um yeah, it's very juicy. I haven't read thewhole thing yet but I will before I interviewed them next week. Um but it'sabout uh a woman living on a manner who sort of takes up with one of the farmboys and what happens when their worlds collide and it involves a lot ofhistory and backstory and anyway, it's like I can't wait to read this book.It's by Danielle ferris, my food and jenny heath and it's called the lastseason. So anybody who loves that genre um just at the beginning, I was like,oh this will be fun, this is gonna be great right now. Well that sounds great,awesome. Okay, well everyone and maybe stick around, we have a couple ofannouncements and we have one more thing to ask to be about and we'regoing to let her go get back to her very, very busy launch week. Okay, is this where I talk about thepodcast? It is it this is it, this is it mary. Kay. Yeah. Okay. We want toremind all of you out there to check our friends and fiction writer's blockpodcast. We will always post links under announcements each time a new onedrops. It's a lot of fun and it's totally different from this show. Andso if you like hanging out with us here we know you'll love being with theirwith us there every friday this past week, Ron talked to Jenna Blam aboutWoodrow on the bench. It's a dog's story. Uh and this week Ron and Kristentalked to James Ponty and Sarah Malinowski but I do not writemalinowski about being middle grade theory about being middle grade seriesauthors. Yeah, that was such a fun. Sarah Sarah Malinowski is who told meto start a podcast. No kidding. A full circle. Yeah, she's a good friend ofmine. Yeah, I terribly hope my very first book all the way back in 2006.I've noticed since 2004. That's so funny. I actually think it might beseeing German L. A. tomorrow or the next day, which is crazy. But anyhow ifyou're going to be in L. A. Come to my, I'm having a party in L. A. Thisweekend. You should come if you're already working the website situation.It's already happening. Okay. Zipping were packed off line but I don't know.I'm leaving saturday morning, but we'll never sounds great. Thank you. Thankyou. Thank you for asking. All right if you're not hanging out with us yet inthe Friends and Fiction official book club. You are missing out the groupwhich is separate from us and is run by our friends, lisa Harrison and BrendaGartner is now More than 9000, almost 10,000 strong. So this month they'rediscussing once upon a wardrobe by patty, which they will be chatting withher about on November 15th. Mhm I cannot wait because this is when we getto talk about dive into the book and not just give hints like we do onpublic true Book Club. So we get to talk about it. And next week right hereat seven p.m. We will welcome Armando Lucas Korea of Finding Emma andCatherine Ray of the London House, which just came out yesterday. Then intwo weeks, I'm so excited about this.

We're celebrating thanksgiving withVivian Howard, y'all. Vivian Howard. And if you're ever wondering about ourschedule, it's always on the France and fiction website and the fall scheduleis on our facebook banner. Zambian. Vivian, remind me of each other.Vivian's so that she has all these ideas all the time and she's alwayslike, okay, I've got to rein it in and get this one done. But this is like,it's really funny. Like you guys would like rule the world. Um, but lastannouncement, did you know that you can find us streaming on a brand newplatform called Loco. Plus you can also catch our live episodes each week orany episode you might have missed on our Youtube channel just type friendsand fiction in the search bar and so maybe we have one last question for youand then we're gonna let you go. Um but this is something that gives us so muchinsight into our guests and their reading habits. What were the valuesaround reading and writing growing up in your house? That's my parents readall the time. They still read all the time. My dad has stacks and stacks ofbooks on the floor all the way around his desk. My mother always, everyafternoon would have time like on her bed reading a book. It was just what wedid, we spent the weekends going to the library loading up the tote bags,bringing them home, returning them. Um it was just something that we all lovedand did a lot. Somebody's gonna tell some ships. Well we thank you so muchfor visiting us tonight baby. We're so excited. You guys just a reminder, youcan pick up moms don't have time to have kids at your local bookstore. Youcan shop our bookshop dot org, page order your books. It's a great holidaygift. Um I love this book. I've read most of the essays in it and as youmentioned, if you are super busy and you do not have a lot of time, you canjust read an essay and I really feel like they, there were so many that Iread that. I was like, oh my gosh, I, so I feel like really seen andunderstood. Okay. And I think they shine a light on so many of the thingsthat moms are dealing with in real life um, in our lives right now. So thankyou, Zippy. Thanks for sharing your time with us and congratulations andwe're about the book. Thank you. I'm so impressed by all that you guys aredoing. It's really, really awesome. You too Today too. So good night, goodnight to be. Well you guys tonight, we are actually going to skip out on ourafter show. We've all been on the road and are still on the road and have alot that we're all hungry is like the real thing with hungry is actuallyactually so we will not have an after show tonight but don't forget to comeback next week. Same time. Same place as we welcome Armando, Lucas Korea andCatherine ray. Good night everybody, everyone congratulations Kristy. Yes, thank you for tuning in. You can joinus every week on Facebook or YouTube where our live show airs on Wednesdaynights at seven p.m. eastern time. Also subscribe to our podcast and follow uson instagram. We're so glad you're here.

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